BOMB THREATS & GANG BEEFS WON'T STOP US FROM GOING TO BIG BANG'S CONCERT

As avid K-Pop nonsense spectators, we've had our fill of popcorn this past week. We've rambled weeks ago that a Big Bang/EXO overlap in promotions would bring on some entertainment, but we underestimated just how mad K-Pop fans could get...damn...we're going to need more popcorn for this shit.

SUNNY DATING SEO IN GUK: ARE WE CLOSER TO WISHING BACK KOREAN GOKU?

Getting a wish granted from Korean Dragon Balls involve gathering not seven, but nine Girls' Generation boyfriends in one place. Then, we're able to wish back Korean Goku who was killed by his estranged brother, Raditz Hyung. With the news of SNSD's Sunny allegedly in a relationship with Seo In Guk, are we closer to the dream of resurrecting Korean Goku?

TAO IS HAVING A GARAGE SALE & EVERYTHING MUST GO

Is Tao leaving EXO? No one knows for sure, but we do know he's getting rid of some of his possessions, most notably his $220,000 Maserati Granturismo Sport 4.7 MC? Doesn't he need that car to get around Korea? It's such a practical car for him & his EXO best buds to ride in. "But that Maserati is only a four-seater." Yeah, but if three EXO members each have another member on their lap and another three spooning in the trunk, that whip's got EXO OT10 riding fly, a true shipper's dream!!! Why is he selling his sweet ass ride for only $150,000? What does he need the money for?

JYP WAS STOOD UP BY 2PM & GOT7'S MV DIRECTORS

Don't you hate it when you make plans with someone, a solid date is set, you've told all your friends about it & how great of a person they are, only for you to be stood up in the end! That happened to JYP...twice! So what happened? See, wha-ha-happened was...JYP announced 2PM was going to make a comeback on June 1st. Now as Certified V.I.P Hottest, we were excited to hear that we'd get new 2PM & Big Bang music on the same day.

That was the plan...until JYP received, not one, but two phone calls from two separate MV directors. Fantasy Lab's Kim Ji Yong decided that he didn't want to shoot GOT7's comeback MV, and then DEXTERLAB's Han Sa Min decided he didn't want to shoot 2PM's comeback MV, too. Man, there are more MV labs in South Korea than there are meth labs. Let's whisper it together ya'll, "J~Y~P~~~is~pissed~~~"

RED VELVET'S MANAGER IS GULLY BECAUSE HE HAS TO BE

Breaking news! Red Velvet's manager is mean to fans. A Red Velvet fan...matter of fact, what is Red Velvet's fandom name? Cupcakes? Anyway, a video surfaced of Red Velvet's manager barking at Cupcakes that were waiting for them after their KBS Music Bank broadcast. Red Velvet's manager, let's call him Liam Hyung, was heard barking, "Get out, I told you to get out. Yah! Yah!! Fuck!!! Get out, everyone stand back! Shit, I said move back!!! Yeah, I dare you to talk to them. I told you to move back! I said move back, you think this is a movie?! Aish, aish, yah, I dare you to talk to them!" and throwing the occasional "bitches" & "fuckers" around for good measure. Liam Hyung also snatched a letter & threw it back at a fan's face.

Cupcakes were hurt and are calling for Liam Hyung to be fired, which is crazy because if he hears about this...ya'll are so dead. Is he mean as fuck? Yes, but we feel like Liam Hyung HAS to be like this.

V.I.P x A.R.M.Y MAKING SENSE OF BTS SAJAEGI & V MOCKING BIG BANG

It's no secret that we are Certified Big Bang V.I.P & BTS A.R.M.Y. If this was college, you could say we're majoring in Big Bang with a minor in BTS. So of course this week's rumblings about BTS's alleged sajaegi & now V's alleged mocking of Big Bang has been quite interesting news to us. Everyone is catching feelings, and there's nothing for us to do but to wade into the bullshit to make sense of all this.

HYOYEON'S MILLION LIKES IS NOT THE HYOYEON REALITY SHOW WE WANT

Girls' Generation's Hyoyeon will have her own solo reality show called, Hyoyeon's Million Likes. Premiering in June, the show will cover Hyoyeon's fashion style, beauty, and lifestyle with the goal of receiving a million likes on her show's Instagram. Generic SNSD show is generic. This is not the Hyoyeon show we imagined or wanted.

"KIKO IS 25 YEARS OLD?" WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO FIND OUT, G-DRAGON

There's a lyric in Big Bang's "Bae Bae" that goes, "You're forever 25 to me..." A reporter asked G-Dragon if "Bae Bae" was inspired by his alleged romantic relationship with Kiko Mizuhara. Like the G in G-Dragon, he simply said, "Kiko is 25 years old?", which was then followed up by, what we imagine, snickers & inside-joke-type looks amongst the other members.

Despite the fact that the line was written by T.O.P, allegedly about Shin Min Ah, we're going to actually take GD's question seriously & assume he doesn't know how old Kiko is. Don't worry GD, we have the technology to find out!

"VAGUE TAO, STRIKE THREE! YOU'RE OUT OF EXO!!!"

What was the current count?
Tao's father has a drop the mic moment, ball one.
Tao's father then confirms Tao agreeing to leave EXO, ball two.
Tao's vague Weibo message, strike one!
Tao's longer, but equally vague Instagram message, strike two!!
C'mon Tao, you can do this, we just a need a solid hit...a solid "Yes! I am staying with EXO!"...but...

WHITE GIRLS: DISSING EXID & LOVING BEENZINO

We have two white, blonde girls receiving two very different reactions. One is a TMZ jour...wait, are people who work at TMZ referred to as journalists? We're confused. Anyway, a TMZ person who talks about celebrities at LAX apparently mocked EXID's Junghwa's English. The other is a model, Stefanie Uncles aka Stefanie Michova, who is apparently dating rapper Beenzino.

TAO IS PROBABLY TERRIBLE AT ENDING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

If we had the contact numbers of any of Tao's exes, we're pretty sure they'd gladly tell us that the demise of their relationships with Tao started with weeks of vagueness until they eventually opened their front door & received a box of their possessions from Tao's father. We've come to this conclusion that Tao isn't big on taking initiative to honestly break up due to the past few weeks of Tao not answering the question everyone has on their mind.

G-DRAGON & KIKO ARE STILL TOGETHER & THE SKY IS STILL BLUE

Despite all the people saying they broke up or she's really not into him, Kiko is still together with G-Dragon. And like classic JiKo, they're doing a terrible job hiding it.

B1A4'S BARO & KIM YOO JUNG ARE PROBABLY DATING

B1A4's Baro & Kim Yoo Jung are now involved in dating rumors. Now both sides have denied that they've ever been on a date, and they've assured everyone & their mommas that they don't have a romantic relationship with each other. Do we believe them? No. We don't believe them because of one reason & one reason only...