Friday, May 8, 2015


The big SM noona or "Smoona" is back! It's been about two years since we've last seen BoA, and she's back with "Who Are You" featuring Dynamic Duo's Gaeko. We always appreciate any K-Pop song that blesses us with English that we understand, and BoA comes through with this track. For this comeback, BoA called on her EXO dongsaeng, Sehun, to bring them visuals for her MV.

Now onto the MV...
"Wait a minute, that's not BoA or Sehun...WHO ARE YOU?!"

"Who Are You" starts out with a beautiful Kim Hyunji potato-ing it out on her couch doing absolutely nothing.
It's a daily struggle being this pretty.

When suddenly, her phone informs her that she's got a hot date...possibly with Sehun.
We know what that's supposed to represent...

At this point, BoA appears on screen, literally...on a TV screen. It seems as though BoA is some sort of magical screensaver that can so far inhabit televisions & phones.
Boa took the SM box concept way too literally.

While BoA sings in the background, Kim Hyunji's character, we'll call her Momo for the rest of the review, goes into her closet & tries on multiple outfits. Momo finally settles on a dress that's perfect for seducing Sehun. All is right with the Universe.
If this ain't a sign that she's doin' it, we don't know what is.

Now off to the date, but not before Momo puts on her Level headphones to keep her spiritual adviser, BoA, in her ears at all times.
Real sad about the rift & competition between Dr. Dre & his brother Dr. Level.

With BoA in her ear, ain't nobody can tell Momo nothing! This is her world, and she'll do with it what she awkwardly dancing for security guards to watch.
This is actually much scarier with no music.

Now nothing gives one a hankering for some ice cream like awkwardly dancing by yourself, so Momo goes ahead & buys herself one as she roams around an area eerily devoid of other people.
"That LSD flavored ice cream got me trippin'!!!"

Momo finally makes it to the cafe to wait for Sehun. At this point, Gaeko gets on the track, so BoA has nothing to do but just dance in Momo's phone until his bars are done.
Apple & Siri, eat your goddamn hearts out, Samsung got BoA!!!

Where is Sehun? Is he running late? Oh he comes...NOT! Momo suddenly meets some other dude & her mood for this blind date takes a sudden drop.

Can we stop & give it up to this dude right here. Our man here got on his best outfit, set his confidence to 115%, & slapped on his best smile only to receive...
The facial embodiment of swiping left.

Damn Momo, at least mildly fake it 'til you make it. As this disaster of a date becomes a literal rain storm, Momo gets a text from Sehun essentially saying that she's at the wrong cafe. Classic Momo!!! So off she goes, away from not-Sehun, up the stairs, past BoA in a mirror, & into the sky!!!
Momo is not missing this date.

Anyone that has ever experience true love, like us, can attest to the superhuman powers it gives you, which explains Momo's Super Saiyan level jumping. Let's not forget that the journey to find one's true love is wrought with setbacks, like going to the wrong cafe, & hurdles to overcome, like actual hurdles to overcome.
Who the hell set these up? Why doesn't she just go around them?

Finally, Momo arrives at the right cafe where Sehun is handsomely sipping his 8th cup of coffee.
"Took you long enough..."

And her first reaction to seeing him says it all.
"I am so going to get murdered by EXO sasaengs..."

Ehhh, fuck the inevitable violent end of Momo's life at the hands of jealous EXO sasaeng fans, right now, RIGHT NOW...Momo is on an actual date with EXO's Sehun!!!
[Visual Approximation of "KYAAAHHHHH!!!"]

The end, everyone lives happily ever after!!!
This was the last time we saw Momo...

We give this song/MV:
41 Potato Momos out of 7 Wet Not-Sehuns

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