Monday, June 8, 2015

EXO LOVE ME RIGHT REVIEW



Despite the mystery with Tao's status, EXO is back to go north of a million albums sold with the help of "Love Me Right". It's an energetic song that definitely has that EXO sound we know well, with the added bonus of a hook we can totally sing. Hooray English!

Now unto the MV...
An early warning that we're about to be bombarded by a lot.

The main hook of the MV is that EXO is a football team. Now for any football fans out there...please forget the fact that you need eleven players to play a game of football.
But that would explain the sad faces & brooding...

Cut to whatever is happening here...
We're not scientists, but we're pretty sure it's not safe to brood there.

Before you could ask what that smoke is or what chemicals EXO seems to be manufacturing, we cut to Chanyeol & the boys at an underground clubhouse.
Built by SM box specialists.

You might ask why EXO's clubhouse is not up to the standards of a platinum level group like EXO, but we say that it's far more interesting for handsome dudes in expensive clothes to hang out in a trashy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles style lair. When one question is solved, more are presented, like Sehun sleeping on some train tracks. Why?
The hard surface is good for the lumbar area...but that track can't be good for the neck.

Now when all these questions are going through our head, EXO hits us with a dance number!
We forgot what we were about to say...

With our mind erased of previous questions, new questions are quickly flashed onto our thoughts. Where is D.O going, why is Kai sad, who's brooding in the woods, what's Lay up to? Before we could tackle any of those questions...
Damn...we forgot what we were thinking again!

Surprise EXO dance numbers are more effective than those Men In Black flashy thingies. With our minds cleared of another set of questions, we continue on! Now we see more flashes of sad EXO in the woods, sad Kai in a room & walking with a bat, sad Sehun walking after his nap, & a sad football team...when suddenly we're treated to the piece de resistance...Xiumin as a overzealous dinner party host.
One can never have too many plates!

Before we can start wrapping our minds around Xiumin turning out to be some sort of dinnerware enthusiast, Chanyeol & the boys appear playing video games. You know, classic boy stuff. And we know what happens whenever you lose at a video game with friends...
The classic bowling ball to the screen prank!

Hey, boys will be boys, right? We're served a flash of Chen in the woods for some reason, and somehow after all the sadness & brooding by the football team...they...win?
Yankee hats? So...they're the...ummm...Seoul New York Yankees football team? Sounds about right.

Yay! They did it! Despite not seeing the other team or any real footballs being snapped, they won!!! Wait a minute...maybe the other team was love & they conquered love...whoa...too deep. Now we're served another round of flashed that include Baekyhyun reading, what is he reading? Xiumin passed out in the woods, was it the pink smoke? All these questions, then...
Damn...they did it again...

Another few flashes of shipping moments between Sehun and a bat carrying Kai, where's this relationship going? Maybe they're...
Damn, we were just about to solve that question, too!

More flashes of various EXO members running & frolicking, laying down & brooding, dancing & spray painting wall, and...
Damn it, who the hell opened the closet that holds all the loose gumballs?!

You know what...we're starting to think all these random imagery & scenes aren't real. Hear us out! What if the only real thing is EXO as a football team & everything else are the hallucinations of a mind ravaged by concussions & the overall violent nature of the game of football? This would explain all the random napping, mood swings, & Xiumin's dinnerware collection. Football has damaged their brains, and EXO & SM are taking the NFL to task...whoa...that's deep & admirable.
Bottleball is a much safer sport.

That...or maybe the message is that whatever happens...EXO will always be a team.
Damn, that was so fucking deep! Go Seoul New York Yankees!!!

We give this song/MV:
2000 Pieces of Xiumin's Dinnerware out of 1 Flaming TV & Bowling Ball Combo

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